Hi, so today I’m going to be honest with you because I think nobody is and you lack intelligence to think sensibly on your own.

I hope you are aware that your last boyfriend was cheating on you the entire time. In fact he told me you were fat, dumpy, had ugly tattoos and probably had an incredibly low IQ. All you were was a friend with benefits. Nothing more. You are too ugly and dumb to be anything, you are a baby making factory. Just like Willy Wonka - which I heard was a personal favorite. Oh, and I bet your vagina loved feelings a penis and not a baby down there.

In the future please cross your legs, work out a little, tie your tubes and invest in getting an education. I’m sure you have enough money from your three tax deductions to do that. In the meantime stop destroying relationships and tell your baby daddy’s I said Happy Fathers Day.

“I never saw a man who looked with such a wistful eye upon that little tent of blue which prisoners call the sky” -Oscar Wilde

iplayydirtyy:

mmm 

“New York’s hottest club is PANTS.”